The Matzah Ball by Jean Meltzer

 

For December, we read Lisa's pick called The Matzah Ball: A Humorous and Unexpected Holiday Romance of Hidden Passions, Childhood Rivalries, and the Magic of Hanukkah by Jean Meltzer. In this lighthearted holiday novel, the main character Rachel Rubenstein-Goldblatt comes from an established Jewish family in New York City and experiences a Hanukkah like no other.  Her long-lost rival and secret first love from summer camp, Jacob Greenberg, has returned from France after many years to throw a larger-than-life Jewish event called the Matzah Ball. Startled that her childhood flame has re-entered her life, she resists match-making pressure from her mother but simultaneously feels attracted to this boy turned Jewish "stud muffin." Meanwhile, her career takes an unexpected turn when her publisher rejects her book proposal and demands something different and more diverse. A closet Christmas novelist, Rachel now needs help finding inspiration for a Hanukkah romance or she will risk losing her publishing contract which allows her to work while managing her chronic fatigue illness. Will Rachel discover a way to attend the sold-out Matzah Ball and find her muse? How long will she continue to keep her professional life a secret? Frustrated by her illness, will the true love that her characters experience ever become a reality for her?

We all agreed that this romance novel was a much-needed fun read as we closed out the year. The author adds a healthy dose of humor to the narrative making for an amusing love story bedazzled with details of Jewish culture including descriptions of Shabbat, traditional foods, and words in Yiddish. We enjoyed the quirkiness of the main character, wisdom of both mother characters, and warmth of the family relationships. Sometimes details were questioned, for example, why did drama from when the characters were 12-years-old hold so much sway, but overall, the story took the well-worn holiday romance trope and successfully added unique charm.

We were thrilled to have everyone in attendance and of course enjoyed conversation beyond the topic of the book. We discussed holiday traditions, children, family, pets, travel, and even actress look-alikes:

Neve Campbell -> Amy

Annette Bening -> Liz

Toni Collette -> Jen

Jodi Foster -> Rebecca

Headshot by Rita Bullwinkel

 

In November, we met to discuss Karen's pick, Headshot by Rita Bullwinkel. The novel is structured like a sports tournament, with each chapter representing a match between two young women boxers. In fact, before the book begins, there is a bracket with the names of the teenagers who face each other. The author even fills in the names of the later matches so the author is aware that the reader will know who wins the first round of fights.

The book inspired quite a bit of discussion. In general we liked the fresh topic, interesting structure, and writing style of book. However, the physical violence of boxing disturbed some readers. We agreed that the structure was interesting. The flow of each chapter reflected the act of fighting. As the girls found gaps in the bodily form of the other and took opportunities to hit each other back and forth, likewise, the point of view of the narrative shifts back and forth between the characters. As each fight unfolds, we observe the inner thoughts of the two boxers, their back stories, motivating influences, and even future stories including the their occupations, relationships, and attitudes. Interestingly, many of the characters hardly remember the time of their lives detailed in the book. In a sense, we start to understand how each character is fighting her own demons in the ring.

The setting was also a topic of discussion. The ring is in a run-down building in Reno with half-interested  and sometimes shared coaches. The winner trophy is cheap and can hardly hold water. The reader gets an understanding of the lack of support for this women's sport and the girls' deep determination just to be present at this tournament. Overall, we gave it a thumbs up.

As with all bookclubs, we ended our meeting catching up with each other and discussing current events such as the upcoming election and more personal topics. We missed Liz and hope to see her at the next bookclub, which will be the final meeting of the year (where did the year go?)

Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty

 

In September, we met at Cathy's house to discuss Amy's pick Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty. In the novel, Joy Delaney, wife of Stan Delaney and mother of four adult children, goes missing. The story is told by many different narrators revealing mysterious details and uncovering memories that make the reader wonder whether or not Stan is guilty of foul play. Stan and Joy ran a successful tennis academy for decades but heated emotions about past events start to come to the forefront and shed new light on old relationships. And what about the strange woman who Joy informally adopts after showing up on the Delaney's doorstep one night? Is she a victim of domestic violence or a crafty schemer, as some of the children suspect? By the time the reader gets to the end, we learn the truth, not just about what happened but the true essence of what makes each character tick.

The book was generally well received. We enjoyed that it was a captivating page-turner with many surprises along the way. It was like several books in one. In the first part, the mystery is set up and we get a glimpse of how each character portrays her or himself. Then, in the middle, we start to understand how the main characters actually are, and in the end, we see the resolution. Also, the details contributed in many ways and were all buttoned up at the end, such as the sliding magnet, paper-shredding dog, and laundry-stealing cat. It was also a plus for tennis enthusiasts (Lisa) since tennis took on a significant role in the novel (but everything was accessible for non-tennis players as well). Even the tennis-playing styles of the characters lent to their own character development.

Some critiques were that the book was rather long, the constant change of narrator could become dizzying, and that as mystery/thriller/police-procedural books go, this one was kind of tame. It really was more about the character development than the mystery.

We discussed different characters and what we thought of their behavior, for example, we explored a key secret of Joy's, why she did what she, and whether we agreed with her decision. We talked about Stan and his motivations, all of the adult children, and of course Savannah. All in all, the book led to a very focused discussion and inspired many of us to read some of Moriarty's other works.

We were sad that Liz had to miss the call and hope to see her next time. Karen is up next and we are super excited to see her in person next month! Will we be able to coordinate a bookclub around her visit? We'll have to leave you in suspense.

James by Percival Everett

 

 

In July, a small group gathered to discuss James: A Novel by Percival Everett. Remember Huckleberry Finn? Well, James takes that story of Huck and tells it from the perspective of Jim, the slave. 

We spent some time recounting what we knew about the Huckleberry Finn plot to see what storylines were present in both novels and where the two diverged. For example, [*spoilers] the snake bite, floating house, feuding families, duke and king are all a part of Everett's plot as well. There are significant twists though, especially near the end where we learn the 'true' relationship between James and Huck. 

The book was well received. The author did a great job of balancing the known plot of Huck Finn with new material that makes this novel able to stand on its own. We discussed themes of philosophy, dreams, language and identity. At times the book included difficult scenes as it dealt with topics such as slave torture and slave rape. Viewing these from the perspective of a narrator who identifies with the victims and eventually settles the score with some characters is powerful and allows us to dig deeper into this uncomfortable part of our nation's history. 

Although interesting, none of us really bought the author's idea that the slaves pretended to speak a slave language while in the presence of white people but then spoke in an educated way among themselves. It plays into the book's theme of the role of language in identity and perception of identity, but unfortunately, we didn't buy it. We all did seem comfortable with the author's reimagining of Huck and Jim's relationship though. All in all, the book stands highly recommended.

Summertime is always difficult for scheduling but Amy was able to join us briefly from Hawai'i. We look forward to meeting up with Rebecca, Karen, and Liz at future meetings and hearing about all their adventures this summer.

Lisa's Birthday

 

The bookclubbers celebrate Lisa's birthday

(we know Karen was there with us in spirit)

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green

 

In May, we all gathered to discuss An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green. In the novel, dozens of ten-foot Transformer-like statues wearing samurai armor appear in cities across the world. The main character, April May who is a 23-year-old designer in New York City, discovers the first one (which she names Carl) and posts a video to YouTube with the help of her friend Andy. The video goes viral and thus begins an adventure that is part sci-fi, part puzzle, and a whole lot of public publicity, branding, and rhetoric in a millennial style pitting two views against each another: should the world trust or fear the source of these unknown statues.

The book was generally well-received. It was easy-to-read and light-hearted although the themes it addressed such as persuasion, personal impacts of social media and wealth, ethics when standing for a cause (to name just a few), were absolutely relevant to modern times. Interestingly, most did not identify or even like the main character, but it was agreed that this did not detract from enjoying the book. We had similar impressions of the other characters. For example, we all liked April May's ex-girlfriend Maya, her assistant Robin, and her parents. We also all agreed that her friend Andy was kind of a bland character who served a purpose, like an NPC. 

The creativity of the author was admirable and we collectively recalled a few select scenes that caught our attention and made us think, "Ok, this is kinda crazy, but I'm along for the ride."

We discussed other details such as the benefit of solving problems collectively, the relationship between Hank Green and the author John Green (they're brothers!), and the book sequel.

We also caught up on everyone's personal lives including careers, families, siblings, and summer plans. We're looking forward to seeing each other again very soon (almost all in person) at a big birthday celebration where one of us will be turning ... ? Maybe 21? Don't pay attention to the fact that bookclub itself is almost 21. The math ain't mathing, but so what.

Lady Tan's Circle of Women by Lisa See

 

Our first bookclub of 2024 was Liz's pick, Lady Tan's Circle of Women a historical novel by Lisa See. In the book, we follow the life of Tan Yunxian, a girl born into an elite family living in 15th-century China. After her mother's tragic death, Yunxian goes to live with her grandparents who prepare her to be a physician. She befriends a mid-wife in training and the two share an intimate friendship as they move through different phases of life together.

The book was generally well received with the usual mix of some reading and some listening to the audio book. We discussed historical accuracy including what happened to the medical book that Lady Tan wrote. We explored the tension between the author writing as a modern woman about a woman living in a traditional setting but wanting to move toward a more modern and independent life. It was interesting because some thought the character was too modern in her views to be believable while others thought the opposite. We talked about some of the ancient perspectives on medicine and how eastern views influence today's medical field including acupuncture, wholistic doctors, doctors of osteopathy, and Ayurveda. Related to this, we discussed how the topic of vaccinations were addressed by different characters in the book.

We also delved into the different relationships of the characters. We talked about the respect and intimacy between the women and how their lives complemented each other given their different classes and roles. The relationship between the main character and her mother-in-law was also a topic of conversation leading us to share our own stories of mother-in-laws in our lives.

The twist in the book was also of interest as well as the way the author used flowery language to discuss gore of everyday life such as menstruation  (moon water), birth, and parasites.

All in all, we had some engaging conversation about the book inspiring some to binge read other books by the same author. 

We were so happy everyone could join! After our discussion, local folks had lunch in the park with cowboy hats (?) Given the new release of Beyoncé's country single, "Texas Hold 'Em," we made up a line dance and had a "real life hoedown." What happens in bookclub, stays in bookclub, y'all.

Why Fish Don't Exist by Lulu Miller

 

Today we met at Rebecca's house to discuss Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life by Lulu Miller. The book is difficult to classify. It is partially a biography of David Starr Jordan, a taxonomist from the late 1800s and early 1900s who eventually became the president of Stanford University. At the same time, it is partially a memoir about the author and her fascination with Jordan. Miller was deeply moved by Jordan, whose life's work was destroyed by lightening, a fire, and an earthquake and yet who continued to persevere. Miller digs deep into the writings and stories of Jordan to uncover her own understanding of what it means to live with purpose and integrity and what happens when our structured view of the world crumbles and falls apart.

The book was well-received by all. The narrative brought the reader to so many interesting places that it spoke to everyone. First, there was the educational aspect: we learned about the life of Jordan, the field of taxonomy, the poisoning of Jane Stanford, the surprising science behind why the category of fish doesn't really exist, and the uncomfortable history of eugenics in the United States. Then there was the philosophical aspect of the book: the meaning of life with and without a belief in God, the difference between attitude and delusion, the power of the individual in a society, and ethics. And then, there was the arc of the author's own story, digging herself out of depression and using her obsession over Jordan as a vehicle for self-discovery. And finally the aftermath: the result of the author telling this powerful story caused many buildings throughout the country to be renamed. 

Many times, we will read a book, discuss it for twenty minutes and then move on to our own lives, but with this book, we kept coming back to different aspects of the story again and again in our conversation. We discussed ethical questions of what we would do if a fetus had a genetic disease or a condition that made them different (to some in the 1800s 'unfit') or if we knew that a child would live a short life. We related this to themes from other books and movies.  Finally, after much discussion and philosophizing over a delicious mushroom lasagna with a side of roasted carrots, we talked about work, recipes, generative AI, TV, the WE manifesto, "femalism," logorrhea, and other topics. The bookclub eventually morphed into yoga and a dance party.

In a deep fake, the picture above shows both Karen and Lisa as if they were on the same call, when in fact, they got on and off at different times. We didn't photoshop Liz in because she couldn't make it and that would have been too far from reality - but we were thinking of her and send her our love. Thanks everyone for the great read and amazing bookclub!

Dinners with Ruth by Nina Totenberg

 

For our second meeting in September, we met in person (with Liz!) at the Crepevine and discussed Nina Totenberg's Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships. The memoir describes Totenberg's career as an American legal affairs correspondent for National Public Radio and her personal life including close friendships with Cokie Roberts and of course Ruth Bader Ginsburg. In the book, the reader learns interesting stories about Totenberg's challenges as a woman reporter, the first time Totenberg and RBG met, her difficult time tending to her ill first husband, and supporting RBG when her husband died, just to name a few. The book includes pictures of Totenberg with her family, RBG, and other famous people, and the audio book, as read by the author, includes some musical excerpts of her father playing the violin.

We all enjoyed the book. Some minor critiques were that we assumed it would be more about RBG than it actually was and there was an awful lot of name dropping, but let's face it, Totenberg has a lot of friends who happen to be famous. The stories were genuine and inspiring. Some that stood out the most for us were the blatant sexism Totenberg faced as a young journalist, the discussions she and RBG would have at dinner while the young interns watched, her support of Cokie Roberts as she fought cancer, and a beautiful poem.

We had some interesting discussions ourselves on topics including politics, career. children, a closed caption invention, TMI, and ChatGPT.

After lunch, we enjoyed strolling around downtown on a gorgeous, sunny afternoon. We were sorry to miss Karen and Cathy. Next time!

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

 

We spent a lovely afternoon by the pool at Lisa's house to discuss Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawagunchi. The setting of the novel is a coffeeshop in a back alley in the streets of Tokyo.  There is something very special about this coffeeshop. If you sit in the right seat, you can be asked to be transported back in time! But there's a catch: you have to come back before your coffee gets cold. Actually, there are other catches, like sometimes there's a ghost in the seat, but learning these rules is part of the fun. The novel develops several story lines, each with a character wanting to bend the linear trajectory of time to help with a relationship.  In the book, we encountered a young woman wanting to talk to her departed lover, estranged sisters, a wife wanting to see her husband before his memory is ravaged by Alzheimer's Disease, and a mother wondering about her child.

Reactions to the book were mixed. Some struggled with the awkward translation into English and questions about the storyline while others were touched by the deep human relationships and excited to get their hands on the sequel. Some interesting conversations ensued for example, the role of Japanese versus American culture in the reader's reaction to the plot, quiet silence versus rebellion, and how personalities are molded or not molded by environment.

September will be another rare occurrence of two bookclub meetings in one month - wow. We're looking forward to seeing Liz, who we miss so much.

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume

 

On June 4, 2023, we met in Santa Cruz to discuss Karen's pick: "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" by Judy Blume. Although, all of us had already read the book in our youth, we thought it would be interesting to revisit this coming-of-age classic that was recently released as a movie. In the book, the main character, Margaret, is almost twelve and has just moved out of New York City to suburbia. Trying to fit in, she makes friends with a girl down the street who is the leader of a secret club where a small group of friends talks about crushes, bras, and getting their first periods. As Margaret adjusts to her new life, she realizes that she is alone in not having a religious affiliation. Her father is Jewish and her mother is Christian and they have allowed Margaret to make her own choice. Which will she choose? Throughout the book, we hear the inner dialog of Margaret as she talks to God about her hopes and fears as she learns about her developing body and explores her own identity.

As middle-aged women rereading this book, we were all struck by what we had remembered and what we didn't. The general consensus was that we recalled the parts about puberty but not about Margaret's exploration of religion. It was interesting to see how much more depth there was in the book than we realized and how the book was truly before its time. We discussed the characters including Margaret, her mom, Margaret's friends and grandmother. We also compared modern views with trends from fifty years ago, especially gender identification. A fun read!

We were thrilled to have everyone present this time along with Rebecca's dog Fin, who is always happy to be right where the action is. 

Happy 20 years of bookclub, everyone!

Hot Tub and Hummus

 

In May, Karen was in town from Switzerland, so we got together for "Hot Tub and Hummus." The Mediterranean food was delicious and was followed by Lisa's fresh-baked cookies and Cathy's different flavored bars of chocolate - just wow! And of course, afterward, we did enjoy the hot tub. Thank you, Lisa, for hosting. Liz, how we miss you!

The Startup Wife by Tahmima Anam

 

In the spring 2023, we read Amy's pick, The Startup Wife by Tahmima Anam. The novel is narrated by a young graduate student who falls in love with her high school crush and begins a business with him and his best friend. The story takes the reader through the fast-paced life-cycle of a startup, beginning with a nascent product idea (developed in the basement) to a full-blown company with hundreds of thousands of users across the world. Along the way, we see the main character struggle with her own role in the company, her assumptions about marriage, ethical decision making, and her own identity.

The premise of the book was actually something we all lived first-hand, having all met at a startup in the late 90s and early 2000s. Although the purpose of the book was to poke fun at startup culture, for some, reliving the startup scene was a bit too much. We reminisced about our many memories from our own startup experience and also had some interesting discussions about the narrator's perspective and attitudes about herself, her marriage, and societal roles and how these changed as her character developed. 

We spent the day outside at a park and enjoyed the beautiful weather, delicious dim sum, and wonderful company. In our many hours together, we relayed stories, supported each other in personal struggles, discussed plans for the future, and laughed and laughed. Now, we just need Karen and Liz. 

As investors consider the worth of startup ventures by evaluating revenue streams and growth rates, we have come away with something far more valuable: deep friendships that have lasted for decades and will see us through our entire lives.

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

 

In February 2023, we read Pema Chödrön's When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Chödrön is a Buddhist teacher who gave a series of lectures between 1987 and 1994, forming the basis of the book. Each chapter focuses on a Buddhist teaching that we can all apply to life whether on the Buddhist path or not. For example, one teaching was about the concept of tonglen, meaning sending and receiving, which is a practice of first accepting pain instead of our instinct of resisting and rejecting it and then sending out love and compassion.

In the preface, there was some mention of an editor deciding that there was enough material from lecture tapes to create a book, and some questioned the judgment of this editor because some concepts were repeated and there could have been a stronger arc across all the lectures. We liked the concrete stories, for example, one was about a man and a snake and another about a girl's nightmares, and we craved more of these, but all in all, each of us got something meaningful out of the lectures.

The book inspired heart-felt discussions about the impermanence of life, knowing how you want to behave but then falling short in the moment, the art of doing the opposite of what you habitually do, the art of remaining calm, treasured material things and much more. We also deviated from the book and talked about electric cars, discussed how we would live life differently if we knew we only had 10 more years, had a push-up competition, and celebrated Amy's birthday!

We enjoyed delicious dim sum, fresh-baked bread, birthday cake, and a Turkish dessert delicacy called pismaniye.

 

 

Easy Beauty by Chloe Cooper Jones and "The Mixed up Brothers of Bogota" by Susan Dominus

 

For our last bookclub of 2022, we doubled up and discussed two readings so that we could continue to live up to our name of Six Books a Year. Our second reading was an article instead of a book, but we'll let it slide.

Our first reading was Lisa's pick called Easy Beauty: A Memoir by Chloe Cooper Jones. This book tells the story of a philosophy graduate student who has been disabled since birth and who goes through a period of personal growth. One night, she socializes with two fellow grad students who start debating "whether or not my life is worth living," and thus begins her personal journey exploring society's and her own views of disability, beauty, worthiness, marriage, motherhood, friendship, forgiveness and many other topics. Along the way, the author takes us to museums in Rome, a Beyonce concert in Milan, a tennis tournament in California, and Killing Fields in Cambodia.

The book stimulated lengthy discussions about disability with perspectives from some who have members of their families with disabilities. We went deep into many of the characters including the narrator, the narrator's husband, mother, father, son and friends. We also heard perspectives from Lisa who is good friends with someone who knows the author well (and is even mentioned in the book). We agreed that the book offered real substance and it showed in our in-depth discussions.

We also read a New York Times Magazine article from 2015 called "The Mixed Up Brothers of Bogota" by Susan Dominus. The article describes the meeting of two pairs of identical twins who were separated at birth. Because of an accidental mix-up, each twin thought his brother was a fraternal twin, when in reality, the other brother was an identical twin being raised by the other family. The article also inspired interesting conversations about genes, the nature vs. nurture debate, cultural differences, and parenting styles.

We were so thankful that everyone could make it, even Liz who was so sick she could barely speak (get better soon!) Rebecca made the local folks a delicious homemade meal of lasagna and carrot curried soup. We enjoyed homemade cookies from Lisa and Heidi. We also heard some recited poetry from Heidi and Rebecca. What a satisfying bookclub!

Moonglow by Michael Chabon

 

In September 2022, Karen flew into town, so we gathered on a Wednesday night for an in-person bookclub (We missed you, Liz). The book we discussed was Moonglow by Michael Chabon, which is a fictionalized memoir about the life of Chabon's grandfather. In the book, Chabon's grandfather is nearing the end of life and reveals stories that have never been told before from chasing V2 rockets at the end of WWII, to life in prison, to the secret past of his wife, the author's grandmother.

Reactions to the book varied with some very passionate opinions. Some enjoyed the multiple plot lines, others liked the characters, sense of humor and literary elements, but some were put off by the writing style and handling of women characters. Such a mixture of responses made for some very interesting conversations.

We also explored many other topics such as children, travel, mental health, food, diet, work, and different perspectives on spas. We ended the evening with our very own dance party :-)

Hike at Seal Point Park

 

Since Karen was in town, we spent a lovely afternoon at dog-friendly Seal Point Park. We enjoyed a picnic lunch by the bay and beautiful views as we hiked around the park with Rebecca's dog, Finn. So good to see everyone! (We missed you, Liz.) 

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

 

In May, we read Liz's pick, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. The book is a memoir of the early life of the writer and poet, covering topics such as literacy, rape, racism, and self identity.

The book was very well received. Many of us were reluctant to admit that we hadn't read it before (especially the English majors). We were mesmerized by her use of artistic language and celebrated that she addressed such heavy topics in a way that was raw and true. She also incorporated elements of humor into her writing. Amy listened to the audiobook as read by the author and recommended this version.

The book led to some interesting discussions about the time period when she lived, her upbringing, how she dealt with racism, and how she explored her own sexuality.

We also launched into discussions of other topics including graduate school professors, health, children, parents, Ayurveda, lingerie, travel, covid, and goats, to name a few. 

We were so happy to have Liz with us in the flesh! But we were sad that we missed Karen. Our unconventional pose for the picture was partially purposeful and partially random, with the goat added for extra ambiance.

We're looking forward to more meetings in person in the future. And Happy Mother's Day to all of us!

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

 

In March, we met at Cuesta Park/Zoom to discuss Amy's pick, Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. The book is a memoir by a Korean-American woman about her relationship with her mother. The memoir describes her changing dynamic with her mother as she grows up and later helps take care of her mother, who eventually dies of cancer. 

The book struck a chord for many of us dealing with sick and aging parents. There were also cultural parallels that many could relate to. Some topics of discussion included parent-child relationships and expectations, racism, things we did that our parents didn't/still don't know about, health, conspiracy theories, Covid, mental health, and, of course, food. Cathy brought some homemade sourdough bread and Amy went to H Mart as well as a local Korean restaurant to offer us this amazing spread of Korean food, with several dishes featured in the book.

The Only Woman in the Room by Marie Benedict

 

Our first bookclub of 2022 was Cathy's pick, The Only Woman in the Room: A Novel by Marie Benedict. The book is a fictionalized account of the life of Hedy Lamarr, the movie star from the late '30s to '50s. Although Lamarr is best known for her Hollywood career (Samson and Delilah), she was also an inventor. The book begins from her early acting career in Austria just before the Nazi invasion and recounts her marriage to a wealthy ammunition manufacturer, her literal escape from that marriage, her voyage to the US, the launch of her Hollywood career, and interestingly, her writing of a "Secret Communication System" patent that would circumvent the jamming of radio-controlled torpedo communications by way of frequency-hopping.

The book was well received. Many wanted the book to include more of Lamarr's life since the book ended after she presented her invention to the military. She went on to have several other marriages, bear children, and eventually lead a very secluded life. We discussed why the author chose to write a fictional account of her life instead of a biography and what parts were true and not true. Was her adopted child really hers? Was her failed escape from her first marriage true or just added drama for the sake of the novel? Some struggled with the style of writing and others questioned whether or not Lamarr was really motivated by guilt as suggested by the author. Beyond all of this, we did agree with the overarching goal of the author to amplify the voice of a woman who was not taken seriously because she was predominantly viewed as a pretty face instead of a brilliant mind.

The book stimulated interesting discussions about how women have been viewed throughout history including being treated as property, as well as other topics not so related to the book including parents, France, special diets, children,  COVID, and meeting someone in person who you've only ever interacted with on Zoom. We missed Liz and Lisa and hope to see them next time. Will we eventually all meet up in person in March? It's exciting to think about the possibility.

Redefining Realness by Janet Mock

Just after Thanksgiving, we had our last bookclub of the year to discuss Jen's pick Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More by Janet Mock. Unfortunately, we were missing Rebecca and Karen. Liz was there but she called in so she is not pictured (sorry, Liz). 

Redefining Realness is a memoir recounting the story of how the author, who was born a boy, learns to embrace her identity as a girl and how she eventually establishes herself as a successful black/Hawaiian woman with a career and loving husband. Through her stories, we catch a glimpse of the overwhelming challenges she faced living in poverty, raised by single parents, misunderstood, abused, and shunned. As a reader, we see these matter-of-fact stories not through the lens of a victim but a survivor.

Although the book was difficult to read at times given the trials faced by the author, it was well received. It was eye-opening for many in terms of how transwomen think about their identities especially from a young age. It also shed light on more subtle dynamics, for example, bias within the LGBTQ community itself.

The book surfaced many topics, for example, how gender exploration is different for our children's generation and how even if we think we are accepting, some of our own reactions and thoughts can surprise us.

Thanks to Lisa for cooking up a delicious lunch!

What Fresh Hell Is This? by Heather Corinna

In October, we read Liz's pick What Fresh Hell Is This? Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna. This nonfiction book shamelessly discusses all aspects of menopause from the perspective of a sex educator who has researched it and lived it. The book choice was welcomed by many. It gave us an opportunity to share and talk about an important phase of our lives that is still treated as a taboo topic by society. We were able to compare symptoms and discuss where we are in our journeys (and even sharing some period-tracking graphs). 

Most viewed the book as a solid reference, although some enjoyed the style of writing more than others.  Corinna has been described as many things, but reserved is probably not one of them. We appreciated that the book was thorough, addressed the topic from many different angles, and emphasized that there was no one right way to do menopause.

We discussed how menopause has been treated historically including delving into our own family histories with what our mothers and other family members talked about with us and importantly what they didn't talk about.

Beyond the book, I think we all appreciate the close connection we have with one another, which allows us to openly talk about these issues and never feel alone.

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

In September, we read Rebecca's pick Anxious People by the Swedish writer Fredrik Backman. Many were familiar with the author and have read some of his other novels. This book is about a hostage situation but addressed in a humorous way. For example, the hostages who are being held at gunpoint in an apartment building tell the police officers surrounding the building that they would like to order pizza. Although the characters are dealing with very heavy issues such as divorce, addiction, and death (and being held at gunpoint) the author reminds us not to take life too seriously by mixing in some ridiculous situations that help the reader view things from a lighter angle.

Reception of the book was positive. Although some thought the humor was a bit forced at times, we liked how the storylines of the characters interweaved with each other. We also thought it was interesting how the author tested our biases.

We had a hybrid in-person and on-line meeting. The covid virus is mutating into variants, so the folks meeting in person were outside (in Rebecca's lovely backyard) and sometimes wore masks. Unfortunately, Lisa could not join us because she was enjoying the US Open in NY with her mom. Hopefully, we'll all meet in person some day in the future. Until then, everyone stay safe out there.

(Famous Fruit Tart by Heidi)

You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar

 

Our bookclub in June was a momentous occasion with five of us meeting in person! Yay for vaccines.

Lisa's pick for June was You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar. These stories were crazy. They were told in a light-hearted, humorous way, but it was shocking to see how rampant racism is in society today. These true anecdotes ranged from white people not being able to tell black people apart to heartbreaking tails of calculated sabotage. Time and again the authors had to convince whites that they had money, were educated, and were successful because of their own talents and capabilities. The sheer number of these stories underscored how blacks have to deal with these issues every. single. day.

We discussed how although there is greater awareness now after the George Floyd protests, some blacks in the workplace are being asked to lead discussion groups and workshops on racism and diversity - this might seem like a good thing, but they are being asked to do these tasks in addition to their jobs without additional pay. Again, whites are placing the burden on blacks. We also talked about positive trends in education for our own children but how many don't believe racism still exists.

As usual we branched into other topics including vaccines, children, parents, pets, careers, television, books, menopause, simulation theory, and much more. And of course, there was food. Go bookclub!

The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel

Karen's pick for bookclub in April 2021 was The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel. The author describes this book as "a ghost story with a Ponzi scheme and container shipping." The description is not wrong. In the book, we hear the voices of many characters who together tell the story of a woman, Vincent, who gets involved with a successful financier, and we eventually learn that this financier is orchestrating a massive Ponzi scheme. The book develops a number of individual storylines, exploring relationships between different characters who later interact with other characters in different contexts, and at the end, many of these storylines are tied back together in a masterful way.

Discussion of the book was quite involved. Some had trouble getting into the story, until the characters were in fact at the glass hotel, where the characters related to the Ponzi scheme were introduced. From here, things got quite interesting. We discussed characters we liked and didn't like and why. We explored different characters' ethical stances and what drives people to make unethical decisions. We talked about the hallucinations and ghosts in the story and how our perceptions of these apparitions changed throughout the book. And we discussed how the author resolved different storylines. It just so happens that the person who inspired the character of the financier was Bernie Madoff who ran the world's largest Ponzi scheme to date until he was arrested in 2008. Madoff died in prison three days after our bookclub.

Our discussions also took us to current events including progress on the covid vaccine, Asian hate crimes, and how to instigate change as well as other topics such as our children, families and much more. We missed Liz and wish her a wonderful birthday. Like always we look forward to a time (hopefully in the near future) when we can see each other face to face again.

Having fun at bookclub:

 

Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn

 

For our March bookclub, we read Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn. (We missed you Rebecca!) In the book, a quaint little community lives on an island called Nollop, named after Nevin Nollop who wrote the famous sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." At the center of town is a statue of Nollop with the sentence displayed on a series of tiles, one for each letter. One fateful day, the tile with the letter z falls and the governing council interprets this event as Nollop wanting its citizens to creatively play with language and not use the letter in spoken or written form. As letters keep falling the council continues to decree law after law preventing citizens from communicating with the dropped letters (illicitabeticals). Can Ella Minnow Pea, a young woman native to the island, save her small nation from the inevitable?

Many liked this playful book, although we also admitted that it was difficult to read either at the beginning getting into the writer's style or in the middle when letters really start flying off the statue forcing contrived circumlocution. For example, instead of saying, "chewing the guy out," the author would write "letting loose with a veritable, vituperative salvo." Those who finished the book appreciated the clever ending.

We discussed literary elements such as the techniques of writing the novel as a series of letters and how some characters repeated words for emphasis which is observed in other languages such as Hawaiian and Turkish. We imagined that the author probably got the idea of the book after attempting to write a similar sentence containing every letter of the alphabet or by writing a computer program to do so. 

Aside from the book, we discussed many other topics including covid, vaccines, school, mental health, parents, crazy weather, teenager slang, etc. Last year was not easy, and the beginning of this year is proving to be the same. We continue to be thankful for having each other.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

 

Welcome to our first bookclub of 2021! Unfortunately, we are still quarantined, but bookclub goes on. To kick things off for the year, we read The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab. In the book, the main character, Addie LaRue, is a free spirit living in France during the 1700s. Although she is bequeathed to marry, she has no desire to live out her days as a wife and mother in her small village. She wants to be free at all costs. At the 11th hour, she makes a deal with one of the gods of darkness. From this point on, she is free, but also forgotten. As soon as people leave her presence or fall asleep, they forget she ever existed. The book goes back and forth in time between the past and three hundred years later in New York City when she meets a man who remembers.  What? How? Why? All these intriguing questions are answered throughout the story.

The general reception of the book was positive. We agreed that the premise was interesting and it was fun to read about Addie's experiences in different cities during different times in history. Some wanted to learn more about the rules of the curse; others were interested in Addie's relationship with Luc, the god of darkness, and what happens after the ending of the book.

As with all bookclubs we also checked in and caught up with each other's lives. Covid continues to ravage the world and so we discussed how its impact continues to be felt by us, our loved ones, our children, our neighborhoods and communities. We'll get through this. In the meantime, we're going to carry on and keep reading!

I Am, I Am, I Am by Maggie O'Farrell

 

For our bookclub in November, we read I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death by Maggie O'Farrell. The book is a memoir about the author's life from the perspective of seventeen different incidents in which she (or in one case, her daughter) comes close to death. Some of these incidents include childhood illness, potential drowning, assault, accidents, and childbirth. We learn about the backstories of these incidents, and from them we are able to piece together a picture of the author as a child, teenager, young adult, lover, wife, and mother.

Most liked the book, although some had a hard time connecting to the main character/author. Of course, the book dealt with many difficult topics so was not considered light reading. We discussed the scenes that triggered the most fear for us and which inspired resilience and feelings of hope. The stories certainly helped us keep our own lives in perspective.

Among many other topics, we also shared thoughts on how Thanksgiving will be different this year and possible plans for coming together in person some day in the future. We missed Liz this time, but we sent her our love.

As Karen said, "We were, we were, we were."

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

 

We completed our sixth book of the year in early October! Liz's pick was Untamed by Glennon Doyle, a memoir about how to break out of cultural norms that tend to box women into accepted roles. In the book, the author describes her journey of shedding her traditional life with her husband and embracing a new life with the woman she loves. Along the way, she explores important issues including how to raise children so that they have more awareness of society's unspoken rules and constraints, how to trust your inner Knowing, how to let go, how to accept yourself, and how to create your own beautiful life even if it doesn't fit in nicely with expectations of others.

Many parts of the book resonated with us. For some, it was all too familiar reading about resisting a culture where women are always trying to please people. Descriptions of an inner Knowing spoke to some, while others enjoyed reading about a mom who found herself. Generally, we liked the book, although it lost most of us at one point or another, and we explored reasons why this was. 

The book inspired discussions about parenting, keeping perspective, fear of living without a spouse, controlling other people, the view that things will always work out, manifesting, therapy, and many other topics.

We also started talking about plans for where to get together after the pandemic is over. As we wrestle with fires, bad air quality, political turmoil, and COVID, in addition to person issues, it is always a welcome thought to consider how we will one day see each other in person again.